Mind your PMQs – lyrics

Good Wednesday to you all. I headed over to the studio last night to do some final writing and guide tracking on a song that I will be recording on Saturday.

This one’s interesting and a little tricky. Inspired by some of the behaviour of parliament, in particular during Prime Minister’s Questions, and having come up with a title that’s probably attempting to be funnier or more clever than it actually is, I have gone ahead and written a “political” song.

It’s really a catalogue of things that frustrate me about modern politics and journalism, neatly tied up with a smartarse title and no particularly helpful solution. I understand that there are different political philosophies, I just wish we’d recognise we generally have more in common than we realise. I don’t think all politicians are bad. And I don’t think any party is ‘wrong’. But I’m not particularly impressed with how the whole system is getting along in the UK.

I do also think there are people that are wholly out for themselves at every level of society. I would never presume to accuse a specific person of this, as both sides of the political spectrum are far too fond of doing. I may have my suspicions, but none of us knows the whole story.

So this song isn’t directed at any party. Or even just politicians. It’s meant to be a plea to have some damn humility. I’m aware that it may well be misinterpreted, or (more likely) unnoticed.

I say tricky (I did, honest, it was just a few paragraphs ago) because it’s really hard to write a song where you’re being critical without being guilty of the things you might be criticising. I don’t want to be too negative, but I also think certain behaviours shouldn’t go unchallenged. And honestly we’re all guilty of some of this stuff at various points. Ad hominem is the most insidious logical fallacy because it’s so easy to attack people when we’re angry.

I’m posting these lyrics knowing full well that they might not be finished yet. I suspect even once they’re in the can I’ll have my doubts. That’s probably a good thing.

There’s a whole ‘nother post to be written at some point about my (I think) judicious use of language that some deem offensive to stress a point. Some people won’t even see a problem. Others will be curious. There may even be some people who are disappointed. I don’t want to cause unnecessary offence (please don’t read the lyrics below if such language does offend). If the line prevails come Saturday we’ll probably release a censored version for sensitive ears.

Here we go then. My first attempt at some kind of protest song.

Mind Your PMQs

This is little better
Than a playground argument
I find it hard to tolerate
Your willful insolence
Bluff bluff bluster
Ad hominem
Straw man straw man
Ad hominem again

Scaremonger, warmonger
Others are to blame
Exaggerate our differences
Shoot them down in flames

And I can’t believe
This is how we get things done
Starting to feel
That you’re stringing us all along

Turn a profit line your pockets
The little guy’s at fault
Cherry pick your data points
Sell the bastards short
Use other people’s weaknesses
To undermine their claims
Rig the rules, damn the fools
Everyone’d do the same

Oversimplify the issues
Turning up the sound
Pick a side pick a side
Refuse the common ground

And I can’t believe
This is how we get things done
Starting to feel
That you’re stringing us all along

Greed will be our ruin
Pride will kill us all
Hatred our undoing
Ever as it was
Greed will be our ruin
Pride will fuck us all
Can’t stop this hatred brewing
Are we headed for a fall?
It’s simply not worth the fight
If what you’re fighting for
Isn’t love, kindness, bravery
Not evening the score

And I can’t believe
This is how we get things done
Starting to feel
That you’re stringing us all along